Embrião mácula

Frio gélido ódio violeta
Pétala viva odor desfeito
Paradigma jubilar
Amaldiçoas-me o tempo
Diáfana emoção concreta
E sugas-me a paisagem de leste
Enquanto te interpões ao embrião mácula
Da interpretação subjectiva
Da vontade ilusória
Atraiçoas-me o vento
Matas-me em cada desespero
Lunar
Em ti o monstro criou amarras
Amarrou a tempestade
No ciclone que és
Tua mensagem na alma
No caminho um abismo


(May you dear foreign readers pardon me but it had to be like that)

Tuesday

Tiistai.Minä pelkään tiistai.Värinä.

Shadowland

At present I find three categories of people in this dazed adulterated world.The ones who,for major forces,really understand and feel darkness inside because their lives are just like that and they were born to love the glimpse and not the pomp.The other ones that really don´t know what I´m talking about.And the really pointless ones who persist in causing distress upseting the first group.Slightly grotesque and animated by a patterned presumption here they are those patched creatures blinded by their own stupidity,after all the only thing that shines on them and tears them eternally off from the desirable shadowland.
(dedicated to o.m.d.)

David Eugene Edwards from Woven Hand,what a musician,what a singer,what a man.

BLACK LOVE

Death all over here
remainders,scum,plagues,moans
I wish that it could be the end
We could crash ourselves for good
That our hanged bodies of grievance
And our dismantled rotten structure
Had a steeply derailment
In a enormous massacre
And we could breed a monster
To bleed our sorrows
And create a massive lair
For that we could be free
To die
And to love even more our heresy

The rehearsal

Last tuesday I traced myself a lot.The inner turbulence increased its values and there it was the lack game,again,but stronger than it ever was.I experienced the deepest emptiness around.I must say that I have a mental full speed engine especially designed to emphasize life ,although its death enchantment seem to elucidate even better my condition,but when you´re closing time and leaving references,you simply agree and go as it must be, loosing yourself on the way.
I´m not a typical one,my life´s a mess and for now I ´m not sure about what I really need and want ,nevertheless I persist in pursuing the same old and exhausted impetus of infinite love and infamous (I adore the word) giving.And that´s keeping me alive.
Love reminds you that nothing else matters-Amy Bushell

RETRIM

Re-opening

See you.

Disinclined

Like my friend also said one day,I need to change scenery.I´m proud of being disconnecting everlastingly but I needed to shake it harder.I´m a misfit and I´m aware of everything.That´s what us,me and Iggy,call lust for life.

The hidden first

You came as a war giant Our lifeless love
You intercepted my scenery Our intimate silence
You stifled my darkness Our time instant
You smuggled my destiny Our forgetful abyss
I was a dead tool Our abandonment
I was a dead lover Our invisibility
I was a dead dealer Our undecided pain
I was a dead phantom Our promise
A twilight fever

The hidden second

The hidden is a puppet player
He´s uncanny as a interference
But his wave is a test
To failure
He´s a kind of a rip
In a handsome dream
The one I´m taking down
From him
Tactless as you are
You may not be a liar
Poetry and misfortune are not one of a kind
And you misreading your shame

You know who I am or I´m not a poet or someone understood something

Someone understood something.I´m not a poet.You know who I am.I´m a insane fighter,a scandals martyr,I misuse love and I usurp passion,everytime,I´m a talented sinner,I´m as indecent as your vice and as nimble as your obsession,I challenge intuition,I refuse forgiveness and I corrode certainties,I exort.Me as I am I´m what you needed to capture for that our impertinent existence could prodigaly capitulate in abundance.

Caution

Low form of life under reconstruction.

21.21

Have a outrageous anniversary dear Silver-Bullet!

I´m not a poet

I´m not a poet.Poetry is a rehearsal.I understood the text long before the actors came along with the improvements.I´m infected by life,my triumph is your beauty and my stigma is your body.We charmed our hell and we become truth.

A pain that I´m used to

All this running around-Well it´s getting me down-Just give me a pain that I´m used to-I don´t need to believe-All the dreams you conceive-You just need to achive-Something that rings true
Depeche Mode-A pain that I´m used to

Going on almost exhausting time.There´s no lasting way that could approach infiniteness.At least my senses follow the wind...

My last moment away no longer spirit neither sign.No longer spirit neither sign.There´s no longer.Fading.Life can be a memory.We all could be remembrances in a long journey to death.

Rose Dew

I thought I could deal great whith life,even whith death.I thought I was the strongest thing ever seen.And the prettiest.I thought I was not so alone and I was loved,sometimes,even less,but it was o.k..But this is a day to see and to feel and to be ashamed,and to be lost.I feel nothing,I´ve got nothing to feel how could I feel something?Please come and take me.There´s nothing like despair to call for someone to love us and to take us to where the one wants, preferably into the night,into the hole,into nothing.
Rose Dew

Long over due

I´m always crashing in the same car.Another car to crash on?I believe in it´s existence but how can I reach the thing?Long over due Rose Dew.If you knew,dearest one,how beautiful,powerfull and intelligent am I you would be quite depressed on having taken that decision.Today I was feeling really down and I needed to spill out something,it was a blunder,yeah.You´re a blunder o.m.d..But don´t worry there´s a lot like you,you will never feel so alone like me.Only the greatest live more.

He´s coming and I´m going

I´m going home this year.Rain´s falling down all over me as I ordered.Everything´s ckeking up strategies for the leaving.I must put an end to this for that one day we can be closer.Many injuries to count to have the guts to stay.I´m abandoning my space to the one´s coming hoping that will do and he´ll not feel unsatisfied.I desperately tried to love more than nature could allow,temperance was never my virtue, and I was here for the utmost.

When you go away with my emptiness aside your chest let the sorrows detach a little,they´re strong and indisputable and I´m not their slave.When you hear my mind above the subject let your spirit recognize distance,what was remembrance now is a whisper and I went on through my soul.
Rose Dew

Ourselves

The legendary soul whisper goes on and on embroidering our lifes while in the shredered abyss of our minds our essence claims for clearance.

I will always run the risk of something.That´s my way.When I´m not defying myself and my world I´m dying a little,I´m disappearing.Sometimes my system goes weak and awareness grows...When everything ´s really low only anguish to join me as a warning to restore my connections to what we call existence.Then the longing is back,again.

WHY

Why everything´s changing abruptly since last year´s end?Everything´s flowing in a strange rush like if it had been, somehow ,already matter of a higher prediction.When I really stop a little to think about the whole of the events I´m made of now ,I recognize fate.So I believe.
Rose Dew

My sweet love

My soul needs you.

The perfect drug

Love is the perfect drug.It feeds our needs and unlimit our desires.We´re in delight and we forget terms. Life´s only the excuse for the beyond.Who cares for less than everything?

Princess

I can´t stop thinking about you. You are in my dreams, my thoughts, my heart and my soul. I wish you like the part of me you don´t know, but maybe I´m just being selfish in a sad moment for you. I wish you can be happy as you make me.
I never thought I could love so much anyone as I love you.

To my father

My father left me 6 years ago.See you were his last words.I was the unique witness.In our solitude I testified the desertion and it was over.Nevertheless he went on so close...I believe he never let me,till now.Now he´s really leaving,he´s detaching.His soul is releasing mine for that I can renew my aims.I almost hear him and I feel him.He was quite obstinate and he didn´t understand my madness but he adored me like if he was my believer.

Happy birthday dear David! Still shining!

I love YOU

Rose, I am feeling very bad today. You are sad and it was my fault. I never wanted to make you sad, that was my worst nightmare. When I read your words I felt I was dying inside, my world falling down. I felt hollow and pain at the same time. Don´t you see that I don´t care about any other girl, any other person than you? I simply LOVE YOU.

Today

Today everything is happening.Everything is falling down.I broke a lamp.My bird sings continuously.My friend Peter was trying to help me whith a technical problem for about an hour and we didn´t absolutely get to any conclusion.I can´t get a strange sound that I heard Tuesday out from mind.I can´t speak about anything at home because all that I say is taken as a injury.My neighbours didn´t ever had so many visitors around looking for climb our stairs in a mad noisy wayMy dog ´can´t get quiet for a minute.And many more things that I prefer not to report.Rose Dew

Let this be your swan dance and not your swan song...

The perfect scar

I´m breeding a scar.My body against it´s growth ,beeing devoured from whithin.My time to live the time for the accomplishment.I must be the one to die soon.The law is clear and I´m alone.By the end ,suddenly,I drain in another blood.I was not supposed to be careful so I let myself go.I don´t care for the oncoming,everything goes when you´re lost .Only one major eternal thing could beam my scanty life.Your sweetness.

Light

There´s a princess crossing my path. When she appears she lights the darkness, and her light never goes out.

For you

You thought that it could never happen
to all the people that you became,
your body lost in legend,the beast so very tame.
But here,right here,
between the birthmark and the stain,
between the ocean and your open vein,
between the snowman and the rain,
once again,once again,
love calls you by your name.
Leonard Cohen*Love Calls You By Your Name

My motivation

Rose Dew, you are THE motivation. You are surelly more than just a human sketch to me. I only don´t know why do you feel interest on a guy like me, I´m sure I don´t deserve it. (The post title was RD for a reason...)

I´m not afraid of anything

How could I?If I´m alive and I can abuse from all my senses and I outrageously feel and think ,what would it be the matter?I´ve got bones in my eyes and I´m standing above my body to make sure I´m staying.That´s what I call a belief.To live and to fight for ourselves whith our own archaic weapons whithout fearing even what we don´t imagine we are.
Rose Dew

Today someone wrote in a public forum that it was at the same time hard to answer and hard to understand a question that I have formulated him to deal whith.It´s been always the same whith me all my life.It´s not that I absolutely intend to be taken as a superior mind,that would be deplorable,but why do I consecutively suffer from that kind of diagnosis?That adjusts well to my uncommon way but not to my inner certainty of what is clarity.
I was feeling much better,I have had the most beautiful morning message but then I had to leave home to face the world and those poor little creatures of boredom that are my university mates of scandinavian language and it was it,I was getting down again.Then I return home,it was late,I was tired and I read that I have a confused mind.What the hell...

For Rose Dew

Rose Dew, you´re wrong about one thing. You´re not an imaginary princess, you´re indeed a princess, a real one, and you should be treated according to that fact. If I could I would smash everybody who makes you sad.
I lied when I said divine entities don´t exist. You are the proof.

People 2

I make mine Rose Dew`s words. I´m tired of stupid people and their stupid things. They think they´re "normal", but they´re only ordinary people with ordinary lives. For them who is different is "anormal", some product of the lower estracts of society, so always someone to blame and joke. Maybe they don´t understand that not everybody wants their ordinary lives. Or maybe they know that and just pretend they don´t, so they can carry on their lives.

People

What I wanted and I needed was to see and to feel better people around.Sometimes I don´t absolutelly care about that,I´m aware from everything and I even don´t remember that I´m not alone,but many times I need a little beauty to survive(?) as I want to survive(?),for now. I would love to breathe a lot better and to love more.I just can´t deal whith basic people,I can´t bear their mental and sensibility poverties and what I really,really,hate the most is the current fashionable feeling of friendship,cool and tender...and FILTHY.I love well educated persons,who speak and write worthly, who care for what pride still means in our degenerated society,whose wishes are made of intelligence,dignity and truth and who don´t live for football,mobile phones,commercial centers,cigarettes,food,zen,Fnac,cleverness,beer,sex,american movies,intelect,trips,visibility,politic,economy and money.Someone stop stupid ones to cross my way and bring me good things,please!

The mistery of love is greater than the mistery of death.(Oscar Wilde)
Love´s the most powerfull living truth of all times.(Rose Dew)